If you can't wait for the next
installment of Roger Rabbit wackiness, try my new novel
The Late Great Show!
This time it’s murder, intrigue, and godly shenanigans.
The Greek Gods, who have relocated to a glitzy mountaintop in
Southern California, aren’t getting the pious veneration they feel
they deserve. Big Ben Bolt, formerly called Zeus, has a foolproof
way to reclaim his old glory. It all starts when Tilly Hunter comes
to ornithology professor Jason with a strange request: She wants
him to find her son’s father. A talking swan.
Jason knows birds. Swans don’t talk, nor do they seduce
women. This is godly work.
Years ago, the gods ruined Jason’s life, destroying his
family. He wants payback. Jason takes the case.
Jason’s ready to die to fulfill his quest. The Gods are more
than willing to let him. Can Jason bring the Gods to their knees
before they bring him to his grave?
Here's a sample.
“Are you Jason? The professor who wrote the book?” She held
up his lone foray into the popular press, Why the Caged Bird Sings.
A Household Guide to Avian Psychology. The most charitable review
dismissed it as “egghead on bird brains.”
“I’m Tilly Hunter.” She shifted a stack of professional
journals to the rear of his rarely used second chair and sat on the
forward edge. Her diamond-patterned, black nylon stockings produced
a zipping sound as she crossed her legs. “I need your help. I want
you to find my son’s father.”
“I’m an ornithologist. I study birds. You want one of those
private fellows who track missing persons.”
“It’s you I need. You exactly. I met him a year ago. At the
beach. I was feeding crackers to the sea gulls. He came over to me
and dipped his face into my cracker box.” Her voice resonated with
ardor. “He was so playful, so soft, so cuddly, so cute. I never
believed in love at first sight. Until I met Ducky.”
“I never asked his name. He never volunteered it. I called
him Ducky.” The edges of her mouth turned up slightly. “He called
me his little chickadee. We spent one long, glorious afternoon
together. Making love and eating saltines.” The memory of her
amorous Ducky brought tears to her eyes.
She opened her handbag and removed a fine lace hanky. “A
month later, I realized I was pregnant.” She dabbed droplets of
moisture off her cheeks.
Jason eyed her plain gold ring. “You’re married?”
She nodded.“I told Hunt, that’s my husband, that the child
was his. He was tickled to death. We’d been trying for years
without success.” Her shoulders slumped. “Then he discovered the
“I didn’t have to. The instant Hunt saw my newborn baby boy,
he knew. There’s no way on the Gods’ green earth that Hunt Junior
could be his.”
She handed Jason a baby picture, a three-for-one special
marked Sears on the back. Pity the poor photographer. No camera
angle in the world would make this tyke look good. Her son was
covered with a layer of downy feathers. His back sported a pair of
vestigial wings. In profile, he resembled a model airplane wearing
an Indian head dress.
“My lover was a swan. A gorgeous, elegant, talking swan.”
“That’s why I need you. You know everything about swans.”
Jason handed back the picture. “First and foremost, I know
they don’t talk. Or seduce women.”
“My son’s living proof that one of them does.” She curled her
lower lip inward. Her lipstick tinted her front teeth blood red.
“Hunt’s insane with rage. He hired a private detective to find
Ducky. Hunt’s vowed to kill him, stuff him, roast him, and eat him
She tapped her manicured fingernail forcefully on Jason’s
desktop. “I love that bird more than I’ve ever loved any man. Don’t
let my husband butcher my Ducky.”
Extra, Extra! Stop the Presses!
Breaking flash! This just in! There's big news tonight! Read
all about it!
I've just been told by one of my
hush-hush Hollywood sources that there's a new movie in the works
starring big-time Toontown stars Mickey Mouse and Roger
The movie is called
The Stooge. It will be based on the classic Dean
Martin and Jerry Lewis movie of the same name. The story has the
emotional empathy and sensibilities of
Toy Story. It will be a
(G) Rated Pixar type animated musical buddy comedy. Mickey takes on
the Dean Martin role, Roger, who is already regarded as a comic
genius in France, takes the Jerry Lewis part.
The film incorporates five specific
locations from the Disneyland park. It also introduces the Toon
Train, an exciting and interesting way to travel through
The film features real-life people.
Walt Disney costars.
Orson Wells makes an appearance.
The packaged Development Proposal is
currently being evaluated by Disney and Pixar.
happening! Directors and writers are being evaluated.
Hold your breath! For now, that's all I
can tell you! Believe me, there's lots more to come.